عطر پراکنده گل یاس..
The days of being depressed and always thinking of whether would I find the love of my life is over. I am in the center of the paradise I always imagined myself yet I know there are things that I liked them to be better but what I have is irreplaceable with anything in this world that can offer me. This is my first blog as an engaged girl. I feel good and excited but it really does feel different when you have a ring in your hand that everyday you look at it and it reminds you of the person you love dearly and he loves you back in return. It is not the shape or the size of it that matters but yet the beauty that resonates for the symbol of life time commitment. I know it is beyond imaginable to know how life would be in the next 20 or 30 years but all I know I am not marrying anyone that I meet just for a year and half..I am marrying my best friend and for that I know I would never doubt him, distrust him or disrespect him and will always have him in my heart in its especial place that is a difference of being with your lover only and being with your lover and friend. :) Cheers to all the people that has found love or looking for love My advice to you is to self respect yourself and love yourself and there would be a person that would be there to do the same to you..and even more Beso Mahi in the ocean Yas in the garden I sometimes forget to see all of my accomplishments as a woman..I have to overcome so many fears and rejections to be where I am and who I am..I sometimes lose the perspective of what I have done and I compare myself with others and I know I am only good if I compare myself to my own standards..it is good to have a reality check sometimes to see who I am as a human as a woman as a educator, as a listener as a friend and as a love partner..Tonight I learned .. DO NOT LOSE PERCEPTION OF WHO YOU ARE BECAUSE WHO YOU ARE SHAPES THE SPEHRE OF ..YOUR WORLD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8W6FBaB5AE&feature=related My reflection of the day: I learned that smiling brings kindness and connection
towards people. I learned that people claim their space and territory
without considering for others. I learned that not to lose perception and be positive about
the turning points of my life. I learned that kids are the freest soul and the purest in
this world. I am asking the universe I want to be the inspirational
person and guide people and be their role model. I am in the process of completing my past so I can step forward in present and embrace future..I am so grateful for everything that i have...Life is biutiful I felt estactic and happy and fulfilled my vision of future but now there are some bumps along the road and I dont know why I loose my faith in the middle of the battle and doubt my decision..I am sure of my feelings yet confused becuase I dont know what to expect in future..I hope for the best and believe in the best and vision the happiest life for me but the struggles I have along the road makes me weak and I dont want to lose my integrity to the committment I have to better future for myself and future children to be born..I can not let myself and anyone else down I have to fight and keep my spirit high..I just feel lonely in this battle.. I dont know who we are.. I just realized that it is not as much important about the type of the person you meet it is far more important about the time you meet that person becuase the most ideal person for you in the wrong time of your life becomes the worst! so ironic yet true Wow its been a while, I haven't shared anything in the layers of this cyber paper and I know I might have some readers that would like to hear from me..sometimes I feel so happy that I don't need to write in the layers here to complain and tell how much I am in pain becuase when you are happy you are so preoccupied with that happiness that there is no need to complain..I am content for what I have and what I dont have..I have become mature and grown as a butterfly..and feel so happy with what has god given me..great life and great family and friends..and health..I am truly bleesed. life is stressful with school but I can not complain because life is always challenge and if I dont take the challenege and step into my own fears I can never become the successful person I envisioned..and I am committed to make a difference in people's life and be a speaker at TED.com Tomorrow is a big day for me..my research proposal presentation and I want positive energy to be sent to me..I am going to do great I hope Best of luck to you all Mahi It used to be about you and you and you and I was the victim..now it is all about me and my needs and wants as a woman..I have been transformed and born to the new world and feel like I was cut from my mom's umbilical cord recently..I am still sensing the world with all the things there are present to sense I got braces last week and a short hair cut..I really feel different in a good sense..I used to love the old Mahya and now I am loving every aspects of Mahya even though I feel like a teenegar with braces..I feel my patients and I am able to connect to them in deeper level and understand their suffering through out this process..it is hard to be in another person shoes..and I put myself there..and the hair is just for a change..I needed the feeling of change and I am kind of overwhelmed by it now but its ok..I will survive sometimes I really miss myself Its been a long time I haven't written on the walls of this cyber space..I have been in peace and love..and happy and I used to write here when I was sad..however now my intention is to write when I am happy and sad with all the emotions I can embrace This weekend I was transformed into a woman..I was rebirthed to a new woman full of femininity, love, wisdom, care, and courage Sang the first time in my life in front of people and forgave myself and I was borned again with amazing self love for myself and other goddesses.. I realized there is an illuminating path in front of me for making a difference in this world and leave a legacy that I will always be remembered by I found my passion in life and it was the other women in this world that are out there than needs to be reached.. I have become a queen of my life and I loved it Love you Mahya ..the cute girl with two dimples and big smile that has the gold shine which brings light to others and guide them... I am writing this for women for the butterfulies of this world the colors, beauty and exotic creatures.. Imagine a well made persian silk rugs and how detail the strings are entangled to eachother and how colors stands next to each other and bring harmony to the eyes of the viewers..I can describe you as a silk rug..entangled full of beautiful colors and characterstics full of love and peace..tender yet strong, decieving yet pure, full of power and message..so strong that you are admired in every level of your life.. I am a butterfuly, full of exotic colors, committed to grow and be free and fly I am a peacock..full of glamour and class I am a lion--full of strength and endurance I am a dolphin--free to explore the unknown world after all i am a woman full of love, power, peace..I love me and love you women..I want to be maddona, a mother, and a geisha..I want to be them all I want to reflect beauty inside out..I Today I realized how I miss my childhood days where I never had to say goodbye to my mom and I would see her every night when she would give me the good night kiss. Strangely after being away from home for so long and living independently, I miss that good night kiss and the hugs and attention I got from my mom and dad every day. Now that our family is despersed around the world and I am not able to see the beautiful face of my parents, I really miss the old days of living in one bedroom apartment but seeing them every night even though hiddenly in my heart I was counting the days to live alone..it is strange how when I had something I never cherished it..and now that I dont I want it so bad.and I almost cried when I was saying goodbye to my mom today..I will miss her she is light of my life.. Have a safe trip Beso Life has the most unexpected turns around in this world..it is really a journey of challenges, happiness, and smiles and cries..I never regreted living this life the way I lived so far because who I am now is becuase of what was my past This has been the turning point in my life..I dont regret I just recall the memories with laughter Love life In future every person has a chance to have fifteen minutes to be famous ..that is how short this status of life could be Good quote from my friend Neda After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child. You learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So, plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... that you really are strong, and you really do have worth I am looking for a song to sing and a poem to write..need some inspiration..I havent find the answer yet but I will soon..tired of writing sad songs or sad sentences..I need to change..change for better I found happiness in simple things in life and I always wonder where was I before..It is hard to make people happy but the ones that are so good at doing this are going to be the most successful people in the world Happy Sweetest Day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3tJwDO3lNQ&feature=related دل من خیلی صبوره.. A queen admires her man and forgives She has boundaries that can not be violated..She is strong to be reponsible for her actions, yet humble enough to say sorry You tend to forsee this and are so preoccpuied with your own sense of judgement about me that you are losing the whole picture..I am a lady after all .you were never betrayed in my heart and your love is precious for me and I respect it just know that we lost the balance and that is why we ended up here Going to my most waited journey..Hope I get what I was looking for and be transformed
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من از نهايت تاريكي
و از نهايت شب حرف ميزنم
اگر به خانه من آمدي براي من اي مهربان چراغ بيار
و يك دريچه كه از آن
به ازدحام كوچه ي خوشبخت بنگرم
من عريانم، عريانم، عريانم
و زخمهاي من همه از عشق است
از عشق، از عشق، از عشق
و اين منم
زني تنها
در آستانه فصلي سرد
در ابتداي درك هستي آلوده زمين
و ياس ساده غمناك آسمان
من راز فصلها را مي دانم
من حرف لحظه ها را مي فهمم
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